Maria’s Story

I asked Maria a month ago if I could share her story in my blog, but just couldn’t seem to get traction on writing it. Then last week happened. God stepped into America’s headlong freefall down a dark, slippery slope and said, “Let’s rethink.” While the overturning of Roe v. Wade doesn’t end abortion, doesn’t visibly change it at all in states like Oregon, breaking the national covenant with abortion cancels the death culture in America and will usher in God’s spirit in a new way. 

For so long, I naively assumed that no one I knew was post-abortive. Being staunchly pro-life, I expressed horror over the evils of abortion with no thought to how someone I loved might interpret my comments. Maria taught me that for someone to feel safe enough to share such a deep pain, they need to be sure that our grace, mercy, and love for them trumps our opposition to anything in their past.

The Beach Trip that Undid Me

Maria and I can’t pinpoint when we met, but our friendship solidified about eight years ago when she invited me to join her and a group of other women I didn’t know at a beach house for a girls’ weekend. Normally I avoid situations that could get awkward, and a weekend with women I didn’t know ranked right up there, but I agreed to go. In the spirit of what this blog is supposed to be about, here is another way to create community! Just rent a house and invite random people! What could possibly go wrong?

There was no agenda on this trip, and one afternoon we organically started sharing our stories, crying with the recently widowed friend and laughing hysterically at the antics of another. When Maria started sharing, I expected to hear stories about her experiences as a foster mom to teenage boys. One thing you have to know about Maria is that she has some sass and a great sense of humor so I knew it would be good. That’s why I was surprised when she prefaced it by saying, “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

She painted a picture of a girl struggling to find her place in college far from home, finding community in the party crowd. A lapse in judgment combined with the culture of college life came together to alter Maria’s young life. The pink lines on the pregnancy test told it all.

We felt our stomachs clench as she described the fear she felt, the overwhelming  panic at the thought of being so young, alone, and responsible for another life. How would she do it if she had to quit school and had no way to support herself? And maybe worst of all, how would she face the disappointment of her parents and especially her grandpa? She didn’t yet know Jesus so that relationship wasn’t in place to guide her and reassure her that she was not alone.

Maria confided in a friend who offered to take her to a clinic to “get it taken care of.” With no other voices offering different solutions, Maria grasped at the only way she knew of to make the nightmare end. At the clinic, she was given an ultrasound to determine how far along she was but not allowed to see the pictures. She was not offered a chance to hear her baby’s heartbeat. Because she was further along than she realized, the procedure needed to be done in two steps over two days. As Maria was laying on the table that second day, she heard her friend’s newborn baby cry in the waiting room and instantly regretted her decision. That moment was the beginning of years of shame, depression, guilt, and hiding. Maria met her husband shortly after the abortion and it wasn’t until they tried unsuccessfully to start a family that the doctor informed her that she would not be able to bear a child.

But God…..

Now comes the good part. While Maria blamed herself for this latest disappointment, God had other plans for her and Dave before they even knew Him personally. They heard about the need for foster parents and, at the age of 27, Maria and Dave became the foster parents of a 16 year old boy. And they didn’t stop with one boy. Today, 25 years later, they have welcomed into their home more than 100 troubled teenage boys, with many of the boys staying all four years of high school. They have informally adopted several of the boys who have gone on to start their own families and 12 grandchildren call them Mimi and Papa. God has opened doors for Maria to share her story publicly in our church and to lead a support group for women dealing with the aftermath of abortion.

This story perfectly captures the heart of our heavenly Father. Satan thought he won when Jesus hung on that cross, but three days later came the ultimate backfire when God raised Him up victorious over sin and death. What Satan meant to end in stealing Maria’s joy, killing her hope for a future, and destroying a life, God turned into a way to bring boys that needed hope into a family that understands grace and introduces them to Jesus, the perfect image of that grace. As we celebrate the breaking of this curse over America, let’s never forget the lives caught in the crossfire and be the hands of grace, mercy, and healing, delivering one more sucker-punch to the darkness by offering up the light.