The New Pioneers
Ladies, pack up the wagons, pick up your walking sticks, and prepare for adventure! God is calling his new generation of pioneers to break a new trail; to birth a new movement of radical friendship and community. For too long we have sat isolated in our homes and churches waiting for an invitation. We have grieved our loneliness, believing life would always be this way. We read about the first Christians in the book of Acts, breaking bread and eating together in their homes and dismissed it as a cultural thing.
But what if it’s more than that? What if God created us to do this thing called life together? What if the very core of who we are is designed for community, and this discomfort we feel in being alone is really a hunger we were meant to fill? What if God wants to use us to feed others with the gift of our friendship?
My Journey on the Oregon Trail
This journey is one God has had me on for over 25 years. Ever since he called my family to literally travel the modern-day Oregon Trail from Pennsylvania to our farm in the Willamette Valley of Oregon I have been wrestling with this concept of community and hospitality. By nature I am a people person. I love nothing better than a phone call or text from a friend inviting me to lunch. I am a socializer and a herd animal. Being part of a group is my safety net and is where I bloom. When we arrived in Oregon, I was desperate to rebuild the community I had left behind.
However, many times this desire for community was met with feelings of pain and rejection. I expected to find my people in church because we call ourselves a church family, right? If I’m honest, though, church wasn’t always the most welcoming place, and even if we were welcomed on Sunday morning, it usually didn’t lead to connecting outside of church. There were times I was tempted to give up on church entirely because I hated feeling alone in a crowd, but God kept patiently watering the seed of community He had planted in my heart that I had carried with me on the trail.
Enter 2020, a worldwide pandemic, and the forced isolation that went with it. I believe God used that to open my eyes, to sharpen my vision of what church was supposed to be. We had our sermons, our weekly “feedings” livestreamed into our living rooms, but worshipping from the couch got old fast. I realized that what was missing was the whole point of church: gathering with our people to worship as one body. But we couldn’t do that, even when the doors opened back up, if we didn’t know each other.
The Call to Action
That’s when God began speaking to me in my quiet times about pioneering; about stepping out and doing a new thing. He began to fine-tune this passion that was building over the years for hospitality and bringing people together to build friendships. I’m so excited to share with you in this blog stories of how women are making community happen in a multitude of scenarios and how God is using even the hardest moments in our lives to bring us together. Being the church is so much more than what happens on Sunday morning. A successful Sunday is birthed out of multiple small connections during the week on the trail with our friends.
I would love to hear your stories of how God is using women doing life together in the trenches during the week to build the church, taking you from acquaintances to friends to sisters. The Bible says encourage each other and spur one another on to good deeds, so let’s do it! Let’s be inspired together to link arms and blaze a new trail!
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14 Comments
Julie Love
Thank you for being there, and allowing God to use you to inspire others. We need so much more time at the table with community and friends in this season. I love this page. Looking forward to more!
chriszook68
Thank you, Julie! You have encouraged me so much in this journey and I am super blessed to have you at my actual table! This is going to be fun!
Stephanie
Beautiful ❤️
Cathy Osgood
Truth! So many hurting women needing each other! Love the thought of discussion about how we can reach out to community. Chris, you have an amazing way with words. Looking forward to more.
chriszook68
Thank you, Cathy! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many of us verbalizing a desire for friends before so I think it’s the right timing for a blog about ways to do it. If we put together all the good ideas everyone has tried, we can really become a force of love to be reckoned with!
chriszook68
Thank you, Stephanie! Reconnecting with you has been one of best parts of this!
Bonnie Martin
Chris, what a beautiful way to combine your gift of writing with your passion for relationships in a way that glorifies Him. For too long in my own life, I ignored the need for friends, expecting that my all-encompassing work and/or my husband and family could fill that gap. I cherish now the special friendships I’ve cultivated but look forward to hearing and learning from you and others. Excited to “circle the wagons” and spend time together. Blessings to you!!
chriszook68
Thank you, Bonnie! It can be really hard to make space for friends when you’re working full time and trying to stay connected with family too. And your husband is a pretty entertaining guy to hang out with! I’m so glad you took time out of your writing project to pop in here!
Lorraine Martin
Thanks Chris I needed this, this morning. your comments apply also to the east coast, too! Our churches are filled with friends, but outside of Sunday morning, we do our own thing. We visit and say hi at church but this is as far as relationships go,
The Lord may have a big plan in our future and this may mean moving. (i can’t go into details yet) someone made the comment to me, how can you just leave all your friends here. I really don’t have “close” friends , which is sad. I have friends, but not ones that i hang out with. I have had community friends, but since the pandemic they too have become stagnant. I still talk on the phone to one, but it isn’t the same as visiting over a cup of coffee. I am a very lonely person, with alot of friends. if that makes sense.
p.s. sorry if this got long.
chriszook68
Hi Lorraine! I really think that is most peoples’ story: lots of casual friends and acquaintances but no one you would call if you got bad news. I know I definitely felt that way, especially at church at times. When we lost our dear friend to COVID, I got to see the difference having friends made and that was kind of the impetus for getting this blog going and trying new ways in my own life to create community. I can’t wait to hear what you guys are considering doing! Might be the perfect opportunity to try new ways of reaching out!
Stephanie
Knowing you Chris has always given me a chuckle & warm spot in my heart. For sure, this has been a strange transition for all of us for many different reasons. For me, i see this blossoming happening in my circle as well. I have a group of girlfriends that have dared to go deeper week in & week out. Checking on one another, praying, eating together, crying & yes laughing in the midst of far from perfect lives…thank you for opening up this forum for what has been an often unspoken topic, slightly touched on perhaps on a woman’s retreat but never really dissected as needed. 💗
chriszook68
Stephanie, thank you for sharing this! That is exactly what we need and I just think it took a pandemic for many of us to realize it and make space for it. Any yes, I think more people have felt rejected by church families than we realize and hopefully we can help change that here!
Janae
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
Marilani
Hi Chris, as an old friend, I’ll accept your invitation to join you around your table and share a little of my heart in return!
Sadly, our culture, not just because of covid has found its way inside the church walls and has caused so much pain and lonliness between women. Satan takes great joy when he can cause a woman to compare herself to another, feel inadequate and become isolated because of it. We always seem to envy in others what we ourselves lack and we tend to compare our weekenesses to others strengths. As a result, we stay disconnected and fight loneliness. Then you add another layer of pain if one has lost a spouse, child, job, etc. We believe the lie that no one else would ever understand our plight and that causes even more isolation and alienation.
Unless a church has built strong networking connections, women who are hurting never seem to find their place and miss out on rich opportunities to connect.
My heart hurts for women who are hurting. I understand because this was me. As we become stronger, i see it is our responsibility to reach out to those who are the last ones into church and the first ones leaving. We don’t wait for the invitation but instead we invite. We connect. We look for the lady who looks alone and we befriend her. We all take turns in life being the one who needs encouragement and being the one to encourage! It makes life so much richer when we have each other. I’m very blessed to have a circle of Godly girlfriends and church sisters that I thank God for. I just want every woman to experience that kind of richness and love.